I think I am just now starting to deal with some of the feelings that the great "JT" farce engendered in me. I re-read some of my journal entries from that autumn--all the raw emotions--and for the first time allowed myself to feel angry at the manipulation I was put through.
There was some self-pity on the old Rat Patrol group among some of the members who weren't even involved with the "inner circle" but of course there was damned little sympathy for those of us who were deliberately courted, used and then discarded by the impostor. I guess it goes back to the old guard vs the newbies--most of the older members were so possessive of their fandom that they seemed to resent anyone who would join their group and feel they had something to contribute. Of course, the old hens who dominate that fandom have never been open or welcoming to others, but I suppose all fandoms have that tendency.
Actually, speaking for myself, I can admit how predictable it is every time Jules admits new members to our D'Onofrio group. They burst upon the scene all enthusiastic/ignorant about films that we all discussed the life out of years ago, and while this prompts some of the older members to chime in and match their enthusiasm, I find I have no desire to back-track to where my head was three years ago.
At least we have lost some of the posers and post-monsters who were only on the scene in the hopes that Vincent himself would be reading their posts, or staking out the chat room for days on end in the hope he would show up. I can't blame him for cutting back his contacts with the group to a handful of those he has come to trust but sadly that leaves all the newbies out in the cold. But that is his decision, not something any of us planned.
There was some self-pity on the old Rat Patrol group among some of the members who weren't even involved with the "inner circle" but of course there was damned little sympathy for those of us who were deliberately courted, used and then discarded by the impostor. I guess it goes back to the old guard vs the newbies--most of the older members were so possessive of their fandom that they seemed to resent anyone who would join their group and feel they had something to contribute. Of course, the old hens who dominate that fandom have never been open or welcoming to others, but I suppose all fandoms have that tendency.
Actually, speaking for myself, I can admit how predictable it is every time Jules admits new members to our D'Onofrio group. They burst upon the scene all enthusiastic/ignorant about films that we all discussed the life out of years ago, and while this prompts some of the older members to chime in and match their enthusiasm, I find I have no desire to back-track to where my head was three years ago.
At least we have lost some of the posers and post-monsters who were only on the scene in the hopes that Vincent himself would be reading their posts, or staking out the chat room for days on end in the hope he would show up. I can't blame him for cutting back his contacts with the group to a handful of those he has come to trust but sadly that leaves all the newbies out in the cold. But that is his decision, not something any of us planned.
