Friendship
Today is the birthdate of one of my high school friends.
I was a shy, poorly-adjusted child and didn't make friends easily. My social development was stunted not only by the oppressive atmosphere at home but by several moves made by the family during my school years. From the time I was in fifth grade until I was a senior in high school, I never went to the same school for two consecutive years. I wasn't attractive or out-going and confidence? What's that? So I ended up with a small but cherished group of people I considered friends.
So I hate to let one get away....
I suppose it is inevitable that as people change through time, old friends are replaced by new. I know and accept that for the most part. I guess what I find inexplicable and somewhat hurtful--even now for gods'sake--is how most of my high-school and college friends have dropped me without a word. That makes those who have endured--Shannon, Karen, Preston--all the more precious to me.
Over the past six or seven years, the world of the internet has brought me into contact with like-minded, compatible people from around the world and I now can claim as friends some people I have never met face-to-face. I feel blessed and fortunate.
Yet still, on this day, I feel a sense of loss and mourn the friendship that meant so much to me at one time. For some of my most tumultuous, formative years, D was a source of strength and guidance. Her urging helped me step out of my shell and gave me confidence. We shared adventures and laughs and heart aches from the start of my junior year of high school all through college. We kept in touch through letters and rare visits for years afterwards. When Denny and I went to Portland in early 1988, we had dinner and visited with her and her family. Since then--nothing.
Honestly--we had a smashing time that evening, so I can't ascribe the coolness to that visit. Perhaps she came to some realization that our paths in life were taking different tracks. Perhaps my lack of commitment to the Christian faith was a deciding factor. I don't know. I have tried to re-establish contact through email and notes but get no response. Since I get no feed-back, I have no clue to what her feelings are. I am only left to wonder why?
Of course, it is likely that the pressures of daily life have prevented her from even thinking about me or the old days. Maybe the problem is with her, not me. But the old reflexes are no easily lost and to this middle-aged, moderately competent adult, it still feels like rejection.
Sad, huh?
Anyway, for what it's worth and if you take the wishes from this source, know that I wish you a happy birthday, D and all the best that life has to offer.
I was a shy, poorly-adjusted child and didn't make friends easily. My social development was stunted not only by the oppressive atmosphere at home but by several moves made by the family during my school years. From the time I was in fifth grade until I was a senior in high school, I never went to the same school for two consecutive years. I wasn't attractive or out-going and confidence? What's that? So I ended up with a small but cherished group of people I considered friends.
So I hate to let one get away....
I suppose it is inevitable that as people change through time, old friends are replaced by new. I know and accept that for the most part. I guess what I find inexplicable and somewhat hurtful--even now for gods'sake--is how most of my high-school and college friends have dropped me without a word. That makes those who have endured--Shannon, Karen, Preston--all the more precious to me.
Over the past six or seven years, the world of the internet has brought me into contact with like-minded, compatible people from around the world and I now can claim as friends some people I have never met face-to-face. I feel blessed and fortunate.
Yet still, on this day, I feel a sense of loss and mourn the friendship that meant so much to me at one time. For some of my most tumultuous, formative years, D was a source of strength and guidance. Her urging helped me step out of my shell and gave me confidence. We shared adventures and laughs and heart aches from the start of my junior year of high school all through college. We kept in touch through letters and rare visits for years afterwards. When Denny and I went to Portland in early 1988, we had dinner and visited with her and her family. Since then--nothing.
Honestly--we had a smashing time that evening, so I can't ascribe the coolness to that visit. Perhaps she came to some realization that our paths in life were taking different tracks. Perhaps my lack of commitment to the Christian faith was a deciding factor. I don't know. I have tried to re-establish contact through email and notes but get no response. Since I get no feed-back, I have no clue to what her feelings are. I am only left to wonder why?
Of course, it is likely that the pressures of daily life have prevented her from even thinking about me or the old days. Maybe the problem is with her, not me. But the old reflexes are no easily lost and to this middle-aged, moderately competent adult, it still feels like rejection.
Sad, huh?
Anyway, for what it's worth and if you take the wishes from this source, know that I wish you a happy birthday, D and all the best that life has to offer.
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