The Art of Dying
"But the ending always comes at last
Endings always come too fast.
They come too fast
But they pass too slow...
I love you--and that's all I know..."
My thoughts are very much with my mother right now. Despite the time and distances in our lives, I realize how close we have always been. She has always been an unseen companion to my daily life. I have unconsciously carried on an internal dialogue with her, written unsent letters to her in my mind, imagined her reactions to the events in my life.
Now I have to face the very real possibility of going on without her, of life after mother. Someone you take for granted your entire life, someone who has always been *there*--the "other" whose life encompassed yours even before birth...
I am overcome by the depth of my feelings.
I wonder how it is now for her each day. She knows she has a time-bomb in her chest. Every night when she closes her eyes, does she worry if she will open them again come dawn? Each day is a grace. She seems cheerful and serene. I hope that is not just a brave face. I would like to think that it is possible to find grace at the end of life, to have a confidence to replace fear.
Endings always come too fast.
They come too fast
But they pass too slow...
I love you--and that's all I know..."
My thoughts are very much with my mother right now. Despite the time and distances in our lives, I realize how close we have always been. She has always been an unseen companion to my daily life. I have unconsciously carried on an internal dialogue with her, written unsent letters to her in my mind, imagined her reactions to the events in my life.
Now I have to face the very real possibility of going on without her, of life after mother. Someone you take for granted your entire life, someone who has always been *there*--the "other" whose life encompassed yours even before birth...
I am overcome by the depth of my feelings.
I wonder how it is now for her each day. She knows she has a time-bomb in her chest. Every night when she closes her eyes, does she worry if she will open them again come dawn? Each day is a grace. She seems cheerful and serene. I hope that is not just a brave face. I would like to think that it is possible to find grace at the end of life, to have a confidence to replace fear.
